Thursday, October 18, 2007

Mannequins for McCain

Undisclosed sources have reported that late this afternoon, while singing his daily-shower rendition of the 2007 NeoCon Hit Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Iran, GOP Presidential Contender John McCain of Arizona was suddenly overcome by a nuclear reaction of an idea for the solution to winning the Global War on Terror™.

Speaking to reporters at a hastily-called press conference in South Carolina where the Senator was campaigning for the day, McCain excitedly explained, "Mannequins! I know it sounds crazy, but what better way to ensure our country's freedom and security than to send battalions of armor-reinforced mannequin troops to battle without having to worry about defeatist liberals forcing a military redeployment out of Iraq? There would be no more fatalities or casualties among of our brave service men and women for the Democrat Party to cry their crocodile tears over."

"In my home state of Arizona, we've flawlessly worked to bring our military capabilities forward to the 21st century by mastering the use of unmanned drones. The aircraft currently deployed along the U.S./Mexico border are not equipped with missiles, but with just a slight modification, these beauties would be perfect vehicles for our polyurethane patriots."

Crediting his brainstorm to an incident earlier in the day at the South Carolina Upstate nursing school, Senator McCain apologized to Senator Hillary Clinton for remarks he made while touring their facility.
"I was very glad to meet the dummy, named 'Hillary,'" McCain said to laughter after a tour of the school. "Is that the name?" - linkage
The maverick Senator, never afraid to speak his mind, later joked, "Who knew that it would take a lot of dummies to lead my campaign out of single digits?"

Crossposted at Daily Kos

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